DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is OK with us having separate bank accounts, but he insists on sharing an Amazon Prime account.
I feel like this is almost as invasive because he feels the need to confront me about what’s on my wish list or in my shopping cart. This is the one of the reasons I did not want him to have my bank statement.
Should I make my own Amazon Prime account without telling him about it?
DEAR ONLINE SHOPPER: There are a couple of schools of thought on this. I heard one minister advise a couple about to get married that they should share bank accounts and all other financial accounts to keep their relationship connected and honest. I know plenty of other folks who suggest that you keep at least a little something to yourself, even if you do share some key accounts.
I don’t think you should lie about it, but you can tell your husband that you do not like him interrogating you about your desires and choices; therefore, you will be opening your own account. Go ahead and do it. But at least you will have informed him.
I will add that you two may need to have a discussion that looks more broadly at how you spend money and what your financial goals are. Your husband may be worried about paying bills in the long term. You seem to dislike him questioning your spending habits. An open conversation about how you approach money at this stage in your marriage sounds like a wise decision as you think about today — and the future.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am struggling to find a career that I am truly passionate about. I’ve noticed a pattern within myself where I’ll find a new potential career path, pursue it and then slowly lose interest over time.
I’ve been doing this for years, and I am now an adult with a career that I have no true interest in. I worry that I’ll always be this way.
How do I know whether I am truly passionate about a career path or if it is just a temporary interest that I am fixated on? Is it possible that I have no true passion?
DEAR UNFULFILLED: Perhaps your fulfillment does not need to come from work.
Many people pursue outside activities such as hobbies, sports or public service engagements that fill their spirits and make them happy. For them, work is work; it’s the way they earn a living, and they don’t make it the focus of their heart and soul.
Think about what interests you the most. Then figure out how you can dedicate a certain amount of time to whatever that is.
For example, I know many people who are actively involved in charitable efforts such as feeding the unhoused, educating the disenfranchised or volunteering at their spiritual home to serve meals. Others get involved in politics or amateur sports. The point is that you do not need to continue to feel “less than” because you can’t find a career path that suits you.
As long as you earn enough money to take care of yourself, you can put the rest of that energy into something that makes you happy. Find balance that way.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.