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DEAR HARRIETTE: I ran into a guy I used to have a crush on at a holiday party, and all the old feelings came back.
I spent some time talking to him, and it was nice. He is all the things that I like: gentlemanly, stylish, attentive but not overbearing, a great conversationalist — I could go on.
When I first met him, I was married, though not happily. I am now separated and in the middle of a divorce. Should I tell my friend my status and see if he’s interested in going out?
It’s going to take a while before I have everything sorted with the divorce, but it’s definitely happening. I feel like I should let him know what’s going on with me in case he shares any of my butterflies. What do you think?
— Butterflies
DEAR BUTTERFLIES: Your note makes me wonder about what happened before. Did you flirt with each other or even step into the arena of engaging each other intimately? Whatever happened before is informing this moment. Recall the whole scenario so that you can be crystal clear about what happened then and what the precedent is for now.
Then, yes, be honest with him. Tell him what’s happening in your life — not every detail, but the basics and whatever timeline you believe you are on for handling your business.
Perhaps your renewed interest in this man will spur you on to finish your divorce more quickly. What I do not recommend is beginning to date him before you have fully closed that door.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I work for myself, and the past couple of years have been very good. Oddly, the pandemic was profitable for my business. But now things are changing.
As is always true, the end of year is my time for renegotiating contracts, and it feels like deja vu from a few years ago. Even though the quality of my work has been stellar and I have gotten only great reviews, the renewals are not flowing in.
So far, one company did not renew and another big project narrowed the scope of work, which means less money. I have been looking for new projects for months now, but nothing has clicked. I’m getting nervous.
I had two years of not worrying about money, but now that’s over. How can I stay positive when things are not looking so good?
— Facing the Future
DEAR FACING THE FUTURE: Act like you have no money, because you really don’t right now.
Get serious about prospecting. Look around for potential new clients, and approach at least five businesses per day. Make sure your pitch to them is aligned with what’s happening in the world now.
During the pandemic, everyone was at home, and goods and services that supported the way people were living prospered. It’s a new day. You may need to tweak what you are offering to match the new reality of the working world. Figure out the skills you have that match the world today, and offer those.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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